Surviving Home Together in a Pandemic

Surviving Home Together

 Jenny Bales 

Mom to Mom 
(click to see all of Jenny's articles)

As the weeks drag on, this stay at home thing is getting old!

Intellectually, we know, that we’re staying home for the common good. We want to protect the vulnerable, our neighbors, and our family members from the virus.

But emotionally, many of us are feeling trapped. And as a mom, we get the privilege of helping everyone cope with big feelings.

It’s going to be okay.

Though we weren’t able to meet together on Easter, all year round we are an Easter people—and the victory is already won!

By “keeping the long view” and trusting in the Lord, He will comfort us.

We can make some practical changes, too, to make life easier.

Here are some practical considerations that can go a long way to keeping home life more peaceful during this time.

Somebody in My Space

All of a sudden, we need a bigger house. Seriously.

The noise canceling headphones bought for the now-working-from-home husband or wife on Amazon to help tune out the usual kid noises aren’t quite enough. (I find myself saying, “quiet feet, quiet voices,” more than a dozen times a day.)

College students are suddenly at home, and teens who usually work are home full time, too. More people means more eating, more cooking, more dishes, and more messes.

The “more messes” part also means more shoes, more dirt, and more laundry. (The usual housekeeping definitely isn’t enough.)

And perhaps the biggest change is that when living space is tight, tempers can be short.

My husband has been a wonderful help in many ways. But often, if I’m honest, I’d rather do it myself. I don’t know about you, but I find my feathers ruffled in some way or another, daily. Because whether it’s my husband or another family member—he (or she) doesn’t quite do things the way I prefer.

This he’s in my space thing is real.

I love my family. So do you. But right now, they’re all—always—in our space!

What do we do?

The Answer to “Space Wars”

I’ve learned a few things these past few weeks—and maybe what I’ve learned can help you, too.

First, I bite my tongue.

Regardless of how legitimate the complaint is, when hackles are raised, it’s probably not a good idea to speak in the heat of the moment. Not many of the upheavals, uprisings, and up-endings are true emergencies.

I now think and say (either to myself or aloud), “This can wait until a more appropriate time.”

Now, truth be told, I’ve been totally failing at this in the past few days. But it’s still a goal—and it still helps tremendously when used!

Second, I recite gratitude.

Keeping a gratitude journal, silently repeating prayers of thanksgiving, and having everyone share the best part of the day at dinnertime helps me to focus on the positive (and keep the frustration monster away). When I focus on the gifts instead of the grumblings and thank each person’s attempt to be helpful, healing and positivity can return.

Then, I give grace.

I give grace to myself for yelling.  (We all do it, at sometime or another.) I apologize. When others don’t take suggestions well, I give grace then, too.

And yes, more times than not, this is really hard to do. But grace is what diffuses the frustration and puts us on the path to keeping peace in the Space Wars.

We give grace to receive grace. Grace helps us to remember what’s truly important.

We’re home. We’re safe. We’re together.

Never Alone

We are together. All the time. Every day. Morning and night. Weekdays and weekends. Argh!

Now more than ever, it’s tricky to find time to ourselves.

While some tease introverts, saying that the stay at home orders are a dream come true, the truth is, introverts struggle to find a quiet space. When we’re never alone, even extroverts (who typically don’t need as much alone time) feel the strain.

In the whole stay-at-home, stay-in-place dynamic, we can’t escape.

We can’t go to a coffee shop with friends—or enjoy a private latte. We can’t even rely on the grocery store as our time away, since that experience, too, has become so stressful.

How do we make space in our crowded homes to be alone? How do we find space to enjoy our thoughts—or to pray in solitude?

One answer is to get outside.

Step out onto the porch for a few minutes. Regardless of the outdoor weather, grab a breath of fresh-air peace. Take walks. If the weather’s warm enough, bring a chair and a book to the yard for a bit. Maybe Dad can take the kids on a walk, giving Mom a quiet house for at least fifteen minutes (or more).

Another answer is to build a quiet time into the day.

Get up before your children. Use naptime or quiet time in the afternoon to step into the quiet. Or put the kids to bed early, to read for a bit. Taking a much-needed break is priceless.

Use a block of time to pray or do something personally enjoyable, rather than spending the entire time scrambling to get chores completed. Ask the Lord to quiet your soul. Many saints speak of inner peace, and finding the calm in the chaos.

St. Francis de Sales wrote:

Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.

The whole world is certainly facing an “upset” time—so this is the time to seek inner peace.

Missing Jesus

The one thing that makes my heart ache the most is not being able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist during this time.

I definitely took for granted the great gift of the Most Holy Sacrament, and I go back and forth between sorrow and anger. If you feel the same, this is what brings me consolation.

It’s a good thing to miss the Eucharist, as it demonstrates a proper understanding of the sacrament and acknowledges the good it does our souls. Our ache for the community of our parish is good, too, because the people of the Church are also the Body of Christ.

We need both.

Many saints, especially martyrs, went without the Mass much longer than we will. They know this hurt more than we do, and it helped them get to heaven! Ask these holy men and women to pray for us.  Even today, there are places where the Mass cannot be celebrated (when there’s not a pandemic), and we can remember our persecuted brothers and sisters in Christ in prayer, too.

God is with us every moment of every day. Remembering that Truth helps us to deal with being home together, fighting Space Wars, dealing with the need to find our personal alone time, and waiting for the time we attend Mass together again with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Picture Him in the kitchen, in the living room, and in the hallways of your home.

Take a moment here and there to pray, “Jesus, I Trust in You,” and “Have mercy on me, O God.” He will help us persevere through this pandemic, if we ask.

Regardless of the hour or the location, when we call on the Lord, He hears us.

He has exactly what we need and will help us to get through the pandemic and grow in holiness. Together.

Jenny Bales is a Catholic homeschooling mom who is passionate about encouraging and connecting mothers through their homeschooling journeys. She and her husband live in North Texas with their four children who have been homeschooled all their lives. Her homeschool philosophy is "whatever works" with a smattering of literature-based learning, Charlotte Mason, and Classical elements. Jenny loves hot tea, sweet tea, dark chocolate, red wine, college football, and mystery novels—and can’t resist an opportunity to coordinate a conference, retreat, co-op, book study, social group, and or moms’ night out. Jenny loves to reflect on all aspects of Catholic homeschooling through the lens of our incredible Catholic faith. You can find Jenny and her work at www.heartofamother.net.

Is College for Everyone? Here is What One College Professor Has to Say

Why Go to College in the Twenty-First Century?

Michael Kurek

As a retiring college professor (this is my final semester), I have lately been reflecting on what advice I would give about college to Christian high-school students and their parents. First, I would advise those of you in this position to think about whether to go to college at all, why to go, if you do choose to go, what to study there, when to go, and where to go (or where not to go).

Whether to go. No longer, in my opinion, should it be assumed that virtually every high-school student should automatically plan to go on to college, lest it be feared that not going means they have already failed in life or are starting life with a basic disadvantage. Such an assumption has only been prevalent in America since around the 1970’s, anyway. Before that, partly due to the cost of college, many high-school graduates took a two-year vocational training or an apprenticeship in a family business and did very well. Even during the late 1970’s and early 1980’s, when I worked for my own tuition during the summers on a house-painting crew, I was routinely teased with the name “college boy.” None of the other crew had gone to college, and some of them earned more money annually in skilled trades than I ended up earning as a college professor. What was more important to them was that theirs was a noble calling. They were proud of their quality craftsmanship; it was a vocation from God and still can be, for some. Nowadays, the question is being asked again, because many students come out of college with a huge debt and have no professional training by which to pay it back. Those vocational certificate options are starting to look more attractive, and they exist in many more fields now that promise a good salary, especially in I.T./computer work and medical technology. Going to college now should not be simply an assumption, “because everybody does it,” but a choice made for carefully thought-out, compelling reasons.

Why go and what to study. Certain fields, like engineering, law school, and medical school do require college and even graduate school, of course, and God may be calling you in that direction. However, it has always felt a little risky to major in the liberal arts or the fine arts. Nonetheless, that has worked out just fine for many students, too. A strong background in the canon of great literature, the arts, and foreign languages could help to form a young person into an educated, cultured, well-spoken person, which was worth the cost of tuition. Such graduates might be a great asset to a business, or even pick up a masters of business administration; or they may go to law school or medical school or seminary.

Where to go. A liberal arts path to success could still be worthwhile and still hold true, but nowadays it depends very much on where you go to college. This is because It can no longer be assumed that the canon of great literature and the arts is still being taught at many top schools. Some of my own students tell me that they are not, by any means, getting that kind education in some of their other classes, which have been commandeered by the rigid ideology of identity politics. To cite one recent magazine article by a music professor, who shall remain nameless:

“Here is the false belief that greatness is a quality inherent in a piece of music, rather than a culturally conditioned designation given by someone else…. Every year, social media platforms explode with disappointment as one orchestra after another tries to sell a season riddled with music by dead white men.”  

This sort of quote could have come from many professors in many fields at practically every major university. The phrase “social media platforms explode” catches my attention. I guess it very much depends on which tiny social media subcultures you are choosing to read. They explode more like a cap gun or a Christmas cracker, I’d say. “Exploding” implies that many people feel this way, but my experience with symphony audiences is quite the opposite. What I see exploding is a desire to hear more, not less, of the great repertoire, because it is indeed inherently beautiful, not because it was written by a member of any particular race or gender. It takes a great deal of insulting presumption and judgmental elitism to imply that so many people want to hear great music because of the composer’s race. Another phrase that catches my eye is that the orchestras’ seasons are “riddled” with music by “dead white men,” which would seem to allude to a corpse being riddled with bullets, that is, the lethal or somehow toxic musical bullets of dead white men. I am not sure why being dead is so bad. I think it may be a historical chauvinism that assumes only the living of this generation are truly enlightened. So being both dead and male is a double whammy. Parents, those who make such out-of-touch, ivory-tower pronouncements eagerly await the chance, themselves, to riddle and explode your student’s young mind!

So, if you are considering studying the liberal arts at a certain college, I would urge you to pay it a visit and sit in on a few of their classes, and ask the professors for a copy of the syllabus you will have to follow, should you go there. It will often list the works of literature or art to be studied in that course, which can be very revealing. Go home and research what those works and authors are about. Look for a clear statement from the school of their commitment to the traditional canon of great works and to a Christian worldview, but make sure this commitment is actually required of all the professors, too, and is not only a case of the administration using it as a recruiting tool, especially at supposedly Catholic universities.

I have listed above one more question, which is “when”. My experience as a professor is that some students are not yet ready to get the most they can out of college, right out of high school. Many would benefit from at least one year of working “in the real world” before going to college. Many colleges will accept you with a “deferment” to begin a year later. On that note, assuming you do find a wonderful college to attend, let me give you five pieces of advice:

1. Go with the expectation that grading is often going to be subjective and not “fair”. Let it go. You can fight over grades with the professor and then wind up with a poor letter of recommendation, which will do you much more harm than a B on your transcript. Unless you are going to medical school or law school, letters of recommendation are likely to be taken much more seriously by future employers and graduate schools than your final GPA. Many people would rather hire a B student who is said to be cooperative and nice to work with than an A student who is said to be unteachable and entitled.

2. Do not speak to the professor as an equal. This mentality has emerged during the last several years; I don’t know why. Speak to your professor with deference and respect as someone in a higher position who has more decades of experience in their field than you. When you write an e-mail to professor Jones, don’t begin it with “Hi” but with “Dear Professor Jones”. If the professor’s door is propped open for office hours, don’t just walk in. Knock and wait to be invited in. 

3. Do not get your feelings hurt if the professor calls on you personally, and you feel embarrassed because you don’t know the answer. That is not “insensitivity” or “shaming”. It’s called good teaching.

4. Don’t expect to be spoon-fed the material that will be on an upcoming test, or even told what the format will be. Your job is to study everything and be ready for any kind of question about it. And yes, it is fair.

5. You are not entitled to an A, even if you feel like you deserved one. The professor does not grade on how you feel. If you get an 89% (still a good grade), it is not because the professor “took off” eleven points. Rather, starting with zero, the professor added up the correct answers, and they totaled 89 points that you earned. Each assignment and test returned to you will have a grade on it. There is a grading scale on the syllabus, with the weight of each component. You can use this to keep track of how you are doing, yourself. Don’t ask the professor to figure that out for you in the middle of the course by asking “How am I doing?”

In summary, there are many wonderful experiences and life-long friendships to be made during the young-adult “college years”, whether they are spent at a major university, smaller four-year college, or two-year technical school, and God can call students to any of the above. Especially for technical four-year degrees in engineering, math, business, and science, it may be possible, with careful selection of electives, to avoid altogether or take very few of the courses that have an agenda to destroy a Christian worldview. Also, some of the most devout extra-curricular student faith groups can be found at the “worst” secular universities and be a kind of life saver (or eternal life saver). However, my point in this article is simply that it may be impossible nowadays for committed Christians just to sign up and trustingly flow along with conventional models of higher education that we all once took for granted. We must proactively investigate what is really being taught and how it will equip us to serve God in the world with excellence of knowledge and skill, while preserving the precious faith that parents have, for so many years before college, worked to inculcate into their students.

American composer Michael Kurek’s music, hailed for its melo dic neoromanticism, has garnered performances by symphony orchestras and chamber ensembles in fifteen countries on five continents. His many awards for music include the prestigious Academy Award in Music from the American Academy of Arts and Letters (the Academy’s top lifetime achievement award in composition), and he has served on the Classical Nominations Committee for the Grammy Awards. His 2017 album,  The Sea Knows, was No. 1 on  Billboard’s Traditional Classical Chart.  He holds the doctorate in composition from the University of Michigan and has served on the faculty of Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN for 31 years. The Panhellenic Council and all ten sororities of the university recently presented him with the award “Best Music Educator at Vanderbilt.” He is a certified catechist for the diocese of Nashville. His book, The Sound of Beauty: A Composer on Music and the Spiritual Life from Ignatius Press. Dr. Kurek also teaches high school music for HomeschoolConnections.com. For more information, photos, and streaming music go to www.michaelkurek.com.

Best Homeschool Reading Lists

Top-10 Homeschool Book Lists

Maureen Wittmann

Over the years I've homeschooled, I've come to love read aloud time with my children more than anything, aside from sharing God's love with them. I've spent the past 25 years exploring the world of books to find the best titles to share with my children and to share with you, my fellow homeschooler.

I was recently interviewed by Lisa Mladinich for the Homeschooling Saints Podcast to talk read alouds (click here to listen: The Joy, Art, and Educational Benefits of Reading Aloud or search your favorite podcast app). The interview has motivated me to collect the Top-Ten Reading Lists we've published here at Homeschool Connections ... 

1. The question I get asked the most about reading aloud is "What about books for boys?!?" So, it is not surprising that our all-time most popular blogpost, garnering more than 110,000 visits is: Read Alouds for 6- to 12-Year-Old Boys. These books are also great for older boys to read on their own.

2. Second up is The Ultimate List of Family Read Alouds. This is list for families with children of all ages, from preschool to high school and was put together by a group of Homeschool Connections parents,

3. Finding just the right book for your high school teen can be a challenge. Here is a great list to help you get starting in building a library for your teen, 100+ Books for the Well-Rounded Catholic Young Adult.

4. I'm all about teaching core subjects through living literature. This reading list will bring your history studies to life: Ancient Greece Reading List for Grade and Middle School.

5. Get started in your read aloud journey with these picture books: 48 Picture Books for the Well-Rounded Catholic Child.

6. To compliment the boys reading list, here is one just for the girls. Older girls can read these books on their own: Read Alouds for 8- to 10-Year-Old Girls. 

7. Here's a list to save for November: Advent and Christmas Read Alouds for the Whole Family. I recommend keeping a basket just for your Advent and Christmas books in the living room, making the commitment to read one each day.

8. This is a list for parents. We wrote it almost four years ago and it's getting to be time to put it out there again: 10 Books to Read Instead of Watching Political Commercials.

9. This list was written by Homeschool Connections history professor Dr. Christopher Martin: 12 Classics to Read Before College.

10. This reading list was created by Professor Carol Reynolds so that a whole family could learn Russian history together: Russian History: Reading List Pre-K to Adult.

If you'd like to read more about the benefits of reading aloud, see my three-part series: The Joy of Reading Aloud.

Overcoming the Loneliness of Pandemic Homeschooling

Lonely and Stressed: Homeschooling During a Pandemic

 Jenny Bales 

Mom to Mom 
(click to see all of Jenny's articles)

When I read something like, “It’s great that you homeschool so this pandemic is not having much of an effect on your family,” I have to restrain myself from a curt response.

I probably should respond, “We’re definitely blessed that educating our children at home is not new to us. But our daily lives, like everyone else’s, have been significantly disrupted due to not seeing friends, participating in our usual activities, or even leaving the house.”

Because it’s the truth: homeschoolers are lonely and stressed—just like everyone else.

Our family is praying for those who are sick and vulnerable. We’re praying for those who care for the sick, as they are experiencing terrible suffering.

It’s also essential to acknowledge that everyone in our country is impacted in some way. Everyone can be struggling, including long-time homeschoolers.

What Day Is It?

Most children (and many adults) thrive on routine, and most homeschooling families have a solid rhythm to our days. However, in the past few weeks, our routines have changed.

Homeschooling families often spend our summers (or other breaks) coming up with a schedule or rhythm that will work for the coming months (or even the entire year).

But for the pandemic, there was no warning. No way to prepare.

We have been thrust into a new normal, just like everyone else, trying to figure it out as we go. And that’s stressful.

It’s true that homeschoolers can have tremendous flexibility with our schedules. We naturally adapt our routines to meet the changing needs of our families. Yet, in this pandemic, our power over our days is limited. For some, we cannot leave our house, and Dad is suddenly working from home. For most, our outside activities are canceled, and it’s challenging to keep track of what day it is.

Mamas, this is disorienting and exhausting.

Our role, as homeschooling moms, is to set a course for our children’s days. Right now, that comes with extra practical and emotional challenges.

All we can do is keep moving forward. One step at a time, we keep our eyes fixed on Christ.

So, mamas—trust your instincts. Make a simple plan for each day. Say a prayer. And maybe look at a calendar a few times a day to remember what day it is!

What About Socialization?

Homeschooling often involves visits to libraries, parks, museums, music lessons, co-op, dance classes, sports, and more. Socialization is rarely a problem for homeschooling families. Families who regularly homeschool go to the grocery store, meet in learning opportunities together, and visit with friends and extended family whenever possible.

Now, all socializing has suddenly stopped. Though our time to connect together is sometimes replaced by Zoom classes and virtual tours, we’re all still lacking face-to-face interaction.

Our kids are lonely. They’re begging to see their friends. And especially the younger ones can’t fully understand why we must keep our distance.

I don’t know about you, but this breaks my heart.

Fortunately, in a family, we have each other. So we have a beautiful opportunity to work on our familial relationships—because these are the most challenging yet the most important relationships we will ever have.

This is the time for family board games and puzzles, movie nights and campouts. Put activities on the calendar that the whole family can look forward to (at home), and my guess is that attitudes will improve.

Embrace this time together. Even in the close-knit stress, we can still fill our children’s emotional tanks with love. It’s the best to do—and the right thing to do.

How are YOU doing, Mom?

When the schedule is a mess or nonexistent, our kids miss their friends, and we’re all living through a frightening pandemic, Mom is usually the one carrying the emotional weight of it all.

As women, we’re generally more sensitive to emotion. That’s the way God made us.

We’re worried about many things.

Keeping our children healthy and taking care of our elderly parents consumes our thoughts. Every time someone coughs, we tense. The uncertainty of when the pandemic will end—and how it will end—can be maddening. Maybe we’re short-tempered. Maybe the overwhelm comes out in another way. We may wonder if our husband’s job (or our job) is secure—and we worry how we would survive if we lose part or all of our income.

And we are sad. We miss seeing our mom friends. People are dying. Many of us cannot currently receive the Eucharist, the Source and Summit of our lives, with churches closed to the public.

We watch our children go through the ups and downs of their emotions. When our children suffer, we suffer.

Our feminine sensitivity can be maxed out, and some of us have taken to crying in the shower to let out the overwhelming emotion.

Please don’t forget to take care of yourself, Mom.

Take a walk around the block. Call a friend. Enjoy a hot bath. Tell your husband how you are doing. Reach out to a friend or other family members when you need to talk with someone. Acknowledge the anxiety and the grief, and pray for the grace needed to get through another day.

Give it to God

Even without a worldwide crisis, the challenges of a homeschooling mom are many.

The pandemic has touched everyone in some way. And it does no good for us to disregard anyone’s struggles, including our own.

Once, when struggling with many worries, a wise priest taught me to pray. He said, “Imagine a symbol for each of your burdens. Then, in your mind, imagine placing each symbol on the altar.

“Surrender your concerns. Leave them with God, and walk away.”

That was good advice. Tangible. Doable. And extremely helpful.

Maybe it’s something that will work for you, too. Turn to this kind of imaginative mental prayer. When a specific worry comes to mind, picture the worry sitting on the altar. Feel comforted, knowing the Lord is taking care of the worries for you.

The Lord sees us and hears us. He wants us to cry out to Him amidst this storm. And when we do, He will comfort us and equip us—so we can provide the structure and compassion within our families that’s needed to make it through this challenging time with hope and peace.

Jenny Bales is a Catholic homeschooling mom who is passionate about encouraging and connecting mothers through their homeschooling journeys. She and her husband live in North Texas with their four children who have been homeschooled all their lives. Her homeschool philosophy is "whatever works" with a smattering of literature-based learning, Charlotte Mason, and Classical elements. Jenny loves hot tea, sweet tea, dark chocolate, red wine, college football, and mystery novels—and can’t resist an opportunity to coordinate a conference, retreat, co-op, book study, social group, and or moms’ night out. Jenny loves to reflect on all aspects of Catholic homeschooling through the lens of our incredible Catholic faith. You can find Jenny and her work at www.heartofamother.net.

Tips for Schooling from Home During COVID-19

Why Pandemic Schooling Is Harder Than Homeschooling –

And 14 Tips to Make It Easier

Jenny Bales 

Mom to Mom 
(click to see all of Jenny's articles)

How are you feeling?

Are you exhausted, juggling educating the children, keeping those same children entertained, cooking endless meals with limited ingredients, and trying to find toilet paper?

Are you anxious and feeling cooped up, realizing that social distancing is going to last a while—and uneasy because nobody really knows when things will get back to normal?

Here’s a word of wisdom for all of us who aren’t used to homeschooling: You’re not actually homeschooling. You’re schooling at home.

(There’s a difference.)

And if you’re feeling extra stressed, there’s a reason.

Homeschooling vs. Schooling at Home

If you’ve suddenly found yourself schooling at home, you may have Googled, “ways to make homeschooling easier.” And you may have found that homeschooling bloggers keep advising us all to simply “enjoy the time with your children, and just relax.”

What? Relax?!

How? Teachers give online class times, deadlines, and stacks of worksheets. It’s anything but relaxing.

It’s hard.

Well, take heart. This is not the way that homeschooling usually works. This is Pandemic Schooling. And Pandemic Schooling is harder than homeschooling. Way harder.

So realize that what you’re doing is, by design, tough. Take a breath. Here are some truths and tips to help take the pressure off.

Being Together All the Time

Pandemic Schooling means we’re all together—all the time.

With local government stay at home orders to “shelter in place,” we only leave the house for essentials. So our homes are feeling really cramped right about now.

(As much as we love our families, being apart does make the heart grow fonder.)

We’re used to our kids leaving for learning, events, and activities—and that “apartness” gives us breathing room to think, do, and just be.

Without the breathing room, we’re in a pressure cooker.

Here’s the good news:

The new normal of Pandemic Schooling is an opportunity for love. Whether we like it or not, the close-knit pressure cooker gives us so much more time to demonstrate love to each and every member of our families.

(Isn’t love what really matters?)

Sure, it’s hard. Really hard. For all of us. Luckily, there are some “under the wire” ways to take pressure off and make the closeness count for something good.

Try this: When siblings bicker, bring them together on the couch. Give them a mission, a common task—one that can strengthen their relationship. For younger kids, that might be building a block tower as high as the table. For teens, it might be the challenging of setting up an obstacle course in the driveway. For every age, that might be baking cookies.

Try this: When the house seems small, go outside. Blow bubbles with the young ones in the backyard. Draw with chalk on the driveway. Take a walk around the neighborhood. Even if it’s raining, take the umbrellas and go for it. As you social distance and stay six feet apart from neighbors, remember to smile and laugh. Together.

Try this: Have each child keep a daily gratitude journal. At a meal, give everyone the opportunity to share entries. Encouraging gratitude in these uncertain times can create togetherness… that turns into priceless treasures.

Try this: You, Mama, can keep a daily gratitude journal, too. Don’t forget that your love leads by example.

Calming the Chaos

Chaos, in all of its craziness, just may have become the new norm. As the mom, you’re the leader orchestrating the Pandemic Schooling—the one in the middle of it all.

You can be a part of the storm or the eye of the storm.

Babies cry and need to be changed. Toddlers empty bookshelves. And those school kids? One needs help with math, one wants to know how to spell antiquated, and another needs help logging into the online classroom. Oh—and Dad needs everyone to be quiet during his conference call.

(And everyone needs mom at the same time.)

There’s a reason it’s more chaotic.

With Pandemic Schooling, children who’ve attended “outside school” are used to the rhythm of everyone doing the same thing at the same time. Movement and activities are together, with a group, so transitions and focus are easier.

Not so, with Pandemic Schooling.

Everyone relies on Mom, to keep everyone on track, on task, and moving from one activity to the next.

How can one person do it all?

You can’t. But you can make a plan to do what you can, in the time you have, and in an order that makes sense for everyone.

Try this: Set boundaries with “age-based response time.” If you’re being pulled in multiple directions at once, let a child’s age be your guide for prioritizing.

Babies come first. Let everyone know—if the baby needs you, the baby’s our family’s priority. Children with special needs get the same priority. Instead of feeling guilty, embrace the pro-life lesson—and teach your children how to love the little ones. Make it okay for all motion and activity to stop, for mom to address the need, and to start up again when the need is taken care of.

Older children (which can be defined as, “those who can write”) get to learn to wait—and learn to grow in selflessness.

Try this: Give the older kids a daily task list—a written out “to do” guide to use throughout the day, with jobs of varying difficulty that can be completed independently.

Try this: Grab some Post-it notes and a wipe-off marker, and make a “parking lot” on a window where a child’s non-urgent questions can be “parked.” Number the parking spaces. As a non-critical (but still “real”) need comes up, the child “makes his car” (lists the need on the Post-it) and puts the “car” in the next open “parking spot.” Let the child know that you’ll attend to the questions as soon as you can, in the order that the needs are “parked.”

Try this: For moms with outside-of-the-home jobs, if you’re suddenly managing a child’s distance learning and are still expected to work from home, have a heart-to-heart with the rest of the family (and yourself). As hard as it is, accept there’s only so much of Mom to go around. Admit to your children that you can’t do everything. Let them know how to help with specific, actionable tasks. Describe how your children can actually show you love—by their actions.

Working Together

Working together is the goal.

Again—“togetherness” most likely will not be easy. Pandemic Schooling will continue to be one of the most challenging things you’ve ever done—because the family’s not practiced at working together.

But that doesn’t mean working together can’t happen.

Throughout history, children have demonstrated the ability to take on more responsibilities when needed, pitching in during tough times. If you have school-aged children, they’re fully capable of making sandwiches for lunch and keeping the toddler safe for an hour. Really.

Our kids can and should help—and teaching a child about serving the family is teaching how to put love into action.

Try this: This is the perfect time to assign chores. Take specific moments to train children to complete more chores, or different chores, than they’ve been assigned in the past. For each chore, on a 3x5 card, write out the 1-2-3 steps to completion. Have the child take the card along, to check off the chore’s steps as they go. The card becomes a “self-teaching tool” (you don’t have to be there, to make sure the job is completed). Then check the child’s work when the task is completed.

Setting new routines can also be a challenge.

Many of us juggle multiple online meetings a day, on limited devices. Students who are not used to working independently suddenly have to do so. Of course, everyone’s learning at a different academic level. And the lessons are (also of course) unfamiliar to Mom.

It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin.

Try this: Write down the family’s routines and post it to a wall. Set times on the posted routine for meetings, calls, and even meals. Having the routine posted can set expectations—and put everyone more at ease.

Try this: Get detailed. Don’t simply post, “School time.” Schedule and plan time for independent student work and the work time with Mom. Build in lots of flexibility, allowing for interruptions with “margin time” or white space so, if needed, an activity can flow overtime—or everyone can simply put their feet up and breathe in the white space.

Try this: Make outdoor time a priority. List specific activities and post the list by the door, like “kick the ball into a goal” (targeted area) or “pull dead leaves from between the bushes in the backyard.” Offer “points” that can be cashed in for a dish of ice cream or screen time.

Try this: Gather for prayer. Set family prayer time on your posted routine, and rotate who reads from the Bible or leads the prayer. As a group or individually, come up with specific people and situations to pray for, and let kids pick for whom they’ll pray.

The tough news is this: Even with the most cooperative and capable children and a carefully constructed plan, it’s probably not going to be enough.

(Life during this time simply won’t be like it was.)

Homeschoolers often joke that hoping for a clean house, home-cooked meals, a daily shower, completed schoolwork, and Mom’s sanity is too much to ask, for one day. Adding on, “working from home” and “keeping our family safe from a pandemic,” makes this whole situation exponentially harder.

So be intentional. Choose what appears to be most important each day.

And forgive yourself and others, when intentions don’t pan out.

Try this: Intentionally envision the weeklong view. On a specific night, look at your week as a whole. Pray over the proposed week. Trust God’s loving mercy to fill in the gaps and keep much-needed break time clearly spread throughout, to find and experience balance.

That truly is the best we can do, in this crisis.

Seeking Grace

Amidst all of the Pandemic Schooling changes we find ourselves immersed in, humbly looking to God and relying on Him is our saving grace.

We have a hope: by his cross we have been healed and embraced so that nothing and no one can separate us from his redeeming love. In the midst of isolation when we are suffering … let us once again listen to the proclamation that saves us: he is risen and is living by our side. The Lord asks us from his cross to rediscover the life that awaits us … to strengthen, recognize and foster the grace that lives within us.[i]

God’s grace is abundant. His strength will sustain us. And all of these struggles can, if we let them, lead our families closer to the Lord.

When we focus on loving one another and serving together in love, we grow closer to God. Because God is Love.

Jenny Bales is a Catholic homeschooling mom who is passionate about encouraging and connecting mothers through their homeschooling journeys. She and her husband live in North Texas with their four children who have been homeschooled all their lives. Her homeschool philosophy is "whatever works" with a smattering of literature-based learning, Charlotte Mason, and Classical elements. Jenny loves hot tea, sweet tea, dark chocolate, red wine, college football, and mystery novels—and can’t resist an opportunity to coordinate a conference, retreat, co-op, book study, social group, and or moms’ night out. Jenny loves to reflect on all aspects of Catholic homeschooling through the lens of our incredible Catholic faith. You can find Jenny and her work at www.heartofamother.net.

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[i] Pope Francis, “Pope at Urbi et orbi: Full text of his meditation,” Vatican News, https://www.vaticannews.va/en/pope/news/2020-03/urbi-et-orbi-pope-coronavirus-prayer-blessing.html (accessed March 31, 2020).

4-Year Cycle: Medieval Historical Era (Live, Online Classes)

ANNOUNCING: Homeschool Connections' four-year cycle for live, interactive courses ...

In response to requests from students and their parents, Homeschool Connections has organized a four-year cycle of coordinated courses for all students in your family, third through twelfth grade. This is so your entire family can learn about the same era at the same time, making life easier for parents and making school more fun for children. (We also offer alternate courses, not in the cycle.)

The four-year cycle includes:

• Grade-school unit studies: 3rd through 6th grade (reading list and suggested activities provided for pre-k to 2nd siblings)
• Middle-school history and literature courses: 6th through 8th grade
• High-school history, literature, and philosophy courses: 9th through 12th grade

The four eras in the cycle are:

• Ancient (taught live in 2019/2020 and now available as a recorded, independent-learning unit)
• Medieval (starting Fall 2020)
• Renaissance through Modern (starting Fall 2021)
• American (starting Fall 2022)

NOTE: If you prefer recorded, independent-learning courses, this is already available through our Unlimited Access program. For a list of Unlimited Access courses available and how they fit into the four-year cycle click here.

For the upcoming 2020/2021 school year, we are offering courses based on Medieval History in addition to our regular slate. Here are the live, interactive courses now open for you to get started on learning together as a family ...

-- Grade School. The online grade school unit study program is based on TAN Books' Story of Civilization. The unit study is geared for third through sixth grade and will include religion, history, language arts, and science. For 2020/2021 we are adding a creative writing course for 3rd to 6th grade with a Medieval theme. Taught by Jackie deLaveaga. Registration is open HERE.

• Unit Studies
• Creative Writing

-- Middle School. Click on the course title to learn more or register:

• History: Middle School Medieval History, Fall 2020 taught by Phillip Campbell (12 weeks)
• History/Science: Medicine, Invention, and Technology in the Middle Ages, Spring 2021 taught by Phillip Campbell (12 weeks)
• Literature/History: Spring Tide: Living History Through Literature (Medieval Era 5), Fall 2020 taught by Jackie de Laveaga (6 weeks)
• Literature/History: Augustine Came to Kent: Living History Through Literature (Medieval Era 6), Fall 2020 taught by Jackie de Laveaga (6 weeks)
• Literature/History: Red Falcons of Tremoine: Living History Through Literature (Medieval Era 7), Spring 2021 taught by Jackie de Leveaga
• Literature/History: Door to the North: Living History Through Literature (Medieval Era 8), Spring 2021 taught by Jackie de Leveaga

-- High School. Click on the course title to learn more or register:

• Philosophy: An Introduction to the Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas, Part One, Fall 2020 taught by Dave Palmer (12 weeks) - Coupon code for 50% off, philo50
• Philosophy: An Introduction to the Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas, Part Two, Spring 2021 taught by Dave Palmer (12 weeks) - Coupon code for 50% off, philo50
• History: Age of Faith: Medieval History 313-732, Fall 2020 taught by Phillip Campbell (12 weeks)
• History: The City of God: The High Middle Ages, Spring 2021 taught by Phillip Campbell (13 weeks)
• History/Science: History of Medieval Science, Part One, Fall 2020 taught by Inshal Chenet (12 weeks)
• History: Science: History of Medieval Science, Part Two, Spring 2021 taught by Inshal Chenet (12 weeks)
• Literature: An Introduction to Dante’s Divine Comedy, Fall 2020 taught by Joseph Pearce (6 weeks)
• Literature: Dante on Dante, Fall 2020 taught by Kevin O'Brien
• Literature: Shakespeare and King Lear, Fall 2020 taught by Kevin O'Brien (6 weeks)
• Literature: Romanticizing the Middle Ages, Spring 2021 taught by Joseph Pearce (6 weeks)
• Literature: Shakespeare and Macbeth, Spring 2021 taught by Kevin O'Brien (6 weeks)
• Literature: Shakespeare and Richard II, Spring 2021 taught by Kevin O'Brien (6 weeks)

We also offer all levels of Latin. Search our registration page to find the right course for you or email us for a free Latin placement test.

READING LIST FOR PRE-K TO 2ND GRADE: Make sure to include your pre-k to 2nd grade children too! Here is a picture book list for the Medieval period from Sarah Mackenzie of Read-Aloud Revival, https://readaloudrevival.com/middle-ages. We also recommend For the Love of Literature: Teaching Core Subjects by Maureen Wittmann for age-appropriate reading.

Have your older children read aloud to your little children for a win-win homeschool day (lessons reinforced for older children, little children are included, Mom gets a break).